DHS just arrested a real, honest-to-God Somali pirate who was living in the United States. Not a metaphorical pirate. Not a guy who downloads movies illegally. A dude who hijacked a ship in the Gulf of Aden. With guns. On the ocean. Like Captain Phillips but without the Hollywood ending for the pirate.
Welcome to the Biden border legacy, folks. We’re not just importing garden-variety criminals anymore — we’ve upgraded to international maritime terrorists.
Said Jama Ahmed — that’s our pirate’s name — was linked to a 2012 piracy incident involving the U.S.S. Halsey in the Gulf of Aden. For those keeping score at home, the Gulf of Aden is that lovely stretch of water between Somalia and Yemen where armed gangs in speedboats hijack commercial vessels for ransom. It’s basically a drive-through robbery operation, except the drive-through is the Indian Ocean and the weapon is an RPG.
And this guy somehow ended up living in America. With forged documents. Just… hanging out.
(Somewhere, a legal immigrant who spent eight years filling out paperwork and paying thousands in attorney fees just threw their laptop out a window.)
Here’s how he got caught. An off-duty Canadian police officer — not an American officer, not a border patrol agent, not the FBI — a Canadian cop spotted Ahmed near the U.S.-Canada border. They ran his fingerprints and got a hit: national security threat, flagged since 2012 for the piracy incident aboard the Halsey.
Fourteen years. This man was flagged in a national security database for fourteen years, and he was still walking around the United States with fake papers. Our border security apparatus — the one that Biden’s DHS assured us was “secure” approximately nine thousand times — couldn’t find a guy whose fingerprints were literally in the system.
But they sure did find time to process two million asylum claims from people who crossed illegally and pinky-swore they’d show up to their court dates.
Think about what this story actually means. A man who participated in armed piracy against vessels in waters patrolled by the United States Navy managed to enter this country, obtain fraudulent documents, and build a life here. Nobody checked. Nobody flagged him at entry. Nobody cross-referenced his identity against the database that already had his prints. The system didn’t fail — it was never turned on.
That’s the Biden immigration policy in one sentence: the system was never turned on.
DHS announced the arrest this week, and good on them for finally getting this guy. But the fact that it took an off-duty Canadian cop to start the chain of events that led to his capture tells you everything you need to know about how seriously the previous administration took border security. Canada is doing our homework for us now.
You genuinely cannot parody this. We spent years listening to Democrats tell us the border was secure, that concerns about who was entering the country were “xenophobic,” that vetting was robust and thorough. Meanwhile, a pirate — the kind of guy Johnny Depp pretends to be at Disneyland — was using forged documents to live the American dream.
Arrrrgh, as they say in the trade.
The Trump administration’s DHS tracked him down and put him in cuffs. That’s the difference between an administration that takes national security seriously and one that treated the southern border like an open-enrollment period at a community college. Under Biden, a pirate with a national security flag lived here undetected. Under Trump, he’s in custody.
Every time you think you’ve heard the craziest Biden border story — the convicted murderers, the gang members, the suspected terrorists — something even more insane surfaces. A Somali pirate. An actual pirate. Living in the United States of America with forged papers while his fingerprints sat in a database collecting digital dust.
If they ever make a movie about Biden’s border policy, they’re going to have to put a disclaimer at the beginning: “Based on a true story. No, seriously. We know it sounds fake. It’s not.”
